Chronicling the adventures of the most awesome group of well-adjusted geeks that Mankind has ever known.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Two People in History. . .
What two people from history would hike outdoors with and why? For me it would be Bear Grylls because he is a hard ass and will protect me, the other would be Bob Marley so we can sing some sick as songs by the campfire :D
Monday, October 17, 2011
Real chess
Pieces are shot glasses filled with your favorite alcoholic beverage. After awhile you don't want to sacrifice pieces and when you do lose pieces you fucking hate it :D
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Fucking Gold Membership
So Battlefield 3 comes out Oct. 25th. . .and that's when my gold membership ends. . .fucking awesome; here goes $60
To Ty
Post a story of a funny or horrific moment as an analogy, and I'll respond with a witty, positive comment.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Roleplaying Memories Part II
Rob's hand-made zombie campaign. . .that was so BOSS. Also on a related note. . .one of Rob's other D2o Modern sessions. . .LUKE, WHO THE FUCK WIELDS A GREATSWORD AND THEN ATTACKS AN ONCOMING CAR!?. Good Times ;p
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Group Goal
I say that we should create a roleplaying system that would fit all our crazy needs. taking the thrills, darkness, and evil from the Warhammer world, mechanics from DnD, and a few ideas from video games like World of Warcraft: for example classes, the way the spells work and talents.
It's just a thought and I find it quite disturbing that we should create something that seems semi-unrealistic and actually create a different world. DnD takes actuality in play, i applaud them, Dark Heresy takes it into the future with daemons and lots of darkness, more applauding. And I find the spell crafting in WoW to be quite amazing. Like the mana pool seems like a fairly good idea and I think should be considered.
I know none of us are going to have the time on our hands to do this just yet but I find it an interesting thought at the moment. Because I'm pretty sure we all have certain classes that can be improved and become much better in game. I like the idea where we create a system upon our own needs then abiding by a system that has so many rules that are all common sense and we generally don't use them in the first place.
Food for thought I guess. :P
It's just a thought and I find it quite disturbing that we should create something that seems semi-unrealistic and actually create a different world. DnD takes actuality in play, i applaud them, Dark Heresy takes it into the future with daemons and lots of darkness, more applauding. And I find the spell crafting in WoW to be quite amazing. Like the mana pool seems like a fairly good idea and I think should be considered.
I know none of us are going to have the time on our hands to do this just yet but I find it an interesting thought at the moment. Because I'm pretty sure we all have certain classes that can be improved and become much better in game. I like the idea where we create a system upon our own needs then abiding by a system that has so many rules that are all common sense and we generally don't use them in the first place.
Food for thought I guess. :P
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Roleplaying Memories Part I
Officially working on the second phase of my original Dark Heresy campaign. Going through all my notes, maps, and character sheets [all of yours as well] is just so profound. . .that was a great campaign. . .
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Fight Club
Some friends and I down here at SIUe got drunk the other day and began fighting. I walked to class with a broken nose and cuts all over my face. I knew a great deal them knew what happened to my face. haha my fight club has begun!
Life So Far - Kile
I'm currently in Okinawa, Japan right now. I just came back from the Mojave desert, learning about things that I already knew but doing ridiculous stuff.
Right now I have a few Corporals that love to haze and I am an augment, an augment is a person from a different MOS/job that was moved to another job, and I basically had to learn their job. After shifting to their standards and adapting to their work style, I have come to learn to effectively shoot the 50cal, MK19, SAW, and M4. I can use an IV, splints, and other medical devises that help people breath and continue living.
Every single day I think about you guys and my family, what they do and how differently it is working in the Marine Corps. It saddens me that I can't do what I want to do, I have to report and have formations every single day, and I can't go anywhere without doing paperwork. To go back home would cost thousands of dollars and leave pay which I don't have which is why I'm not coming home before Afghan. I wake up everyday around 5-6 AM if I'm lucky. Sometimes around 3.
I hide myself in my room to get away from everybody since I love my silence, alone-time, and anti-socialist feelings. It's quite funny how I exactly remember getting back into Luke's basement and beginning the journey of being part of this group. It was during lunch in highschool, Mike and I sat next to each other with a few others, and we were both talking and I brought up if I would be able to join in because I was interested in playing DnD, Warhammer, and all the video games that we could get our geeky lil hands on.
I can't do that anymore every weekend because I'm literally thousands of miles away from my true best friends. It's one thing to trust my Marine friends with my life and mine with yours, but I trust things to held by you and nothing to be taken away from me. The Marine Corps is like one huge take care of yourself first then the buddy next to you party. It's sad...
To be honest, I envy not being able to go to college for a few years and continue on with my life, repaying everything. But I'll just use the GI bill for my tech college, make my underground house, and continue on with my plans for business - and great plans they are.
Then come the thoughts of me dieing while in Afghan but then I think of, 'Well, at least I won't have to worry about anything else ever again.' Which is sadistically true. I'll try to preserve myself as best as I can. I can't tell you anything else about my job due to security reasons but know this, I'm part of a group that can kick ass.
I really miss freedom. I really do. Irony's a bitch. I'm fighting for freedom when I have no freedom myself.
Right now I have a few Corporals that love to haze and I am an augment, an augment is a person from a different MOS/job that was moved to another job, and I basically had to learn their job. After shifting to their standards and adapting to their work style, I have come to learn to effectively shoot the 50cal, MK19, SAW, and M4. I can use an IV, splints, and other medical devises that help people breath and continue living.
Every single day I think about you guys and my family, what they do and how differently it is working in the Marine Corps. It saddens me that I can't do what I want to do, I have to report and have formations every single day, and I can't go anywhere without doing paperwork. To go back home would cost thousands of dollars and leave pay which I don't have which is why I'm not coming home before Afghan. I wake up everyday around 5-6 AM if I'm lucky. Sometimes around 3.
I hide myself in my room to get away from everybody since I love my silence, alone-time, and anti-socialist feelings. It's quite funny how I exactly remember getting back into Luke's basement and beginning the journey of being part of this group. It was during lunch in highschool, Mike and I sat next to each other with a few others, and we were both talking and I brought up if I would be able to join in because I was interested in playing DnD, Warhammer, and all the video games that we could get our geeky lil hands on.
I can't do that anymore every weekend because I'm literally thousands of miles away from my true best friends. It's one thing to trust my Marine friends with my life and mine with yours, but I trust things to held by you and nothing to be taken away from me. The Marine Corps is like one huge take care of yourself first then the buddy next to you party. It's sad...
To be honest, I envy not being able to go to college for a few years and continue on with my life, repaying everything. But I'll just use the GI bill for my tech college, make my underground house, and continue on with my plans for business - and great plans they are.
Then come the thoughts of me dieing while in Afghan but then I think of, 'Well, at least I won't have to worry about anything else ever again.' Which is sadistically true. I'll try to preserve myself as best as I can. I can't tell you anything else about my job due to security reasons but know this, I'm part of a group that can kick ass.
I really miss freedom. I really do. Irony's a bitch. I'm fighting for freedom when I have no freedom myself.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Dance of Dragons
Just finished Dance of Dragons (took me about a week to finish). Well, well Mr. Martin. . .I want to read your next book. . .NAOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I went on my first late night walk in about two years tonight. The stars have always comforted me, no matter how chaotic my life seems, I can always go out, look up at them, and they'll be the same. Tonight they were unusually clear...and it made me understand some things about them that I had always known, but never really thought about in depth. I'll get to those things later, first I'm going to talk about everything that went down as I walked and contemplated.
The whole point of this little 3 A.M. trip was simply to get some cigarettes, and to let the chilly air clear my head. As I walked though...I realized that despite the fact that it's been two years since I've done this, and yet I was thinking virtually the same thoughts that I had the last time. My insecurities are the same, my pure, almost psychotic hatred of myself was there, my alienation from everyone around me? The same. I walked past an old friend's house, the only thing different was the fact that he didn't live there anymore. Walked past a few different houses of some girls I had fucked in the past...the only thing different about those ones, were the dicks that said girls were sucking. The streets are the same, the memories I've had on them, the same, and the drunk town people stumbling around...pretty much the same. Only instead of simply feeling slight amusement from watching them, I felt something else...Especially when they recognized me.
"Oh shit...are you Tyler?"
"..yeah"
"You went to MCHS?"
"yes..."
"Aren't you in the Marines?"
"I was"
The conversation continued for a bit, but my mind was elsewhere, these were people that graduated school the same time as me, but were still doing the exact same shit. That last part however stung.
The only thing I had ever wanted in life was to be a Marine, and I attained that goal, but then had it taken away from me, for reasons that..if you don't know, you don't really NEED to know. But what they say about "Once a Marine, always a Marine" is unfortunately true. I would give anything to have people not know what I did, every time they bring it up, it's salt upon the wound. I think that's why I've been drinking so much lately, because at the end of the bottle, there's blissful unconsciousness. In the past I could deal with all the shit my mind put me through, because I had something to look forward too. Now however....Now I don't have shit to hope for. So I'll spend my next paycheck on cancer sticks, and a shit ton of liquor, and my friends can take bets on which will kill me first.
Back to the main concept of this blog, which is how much nothing changes. It's kind of weird because 2 years ago the conversation would have went like this
"Aren't you Tyler?"
"Mhm"
"And you go to MCHS?"
"Mhm."
"Why don't you talk much?"
"Don't know"
Not much different at all really. In school I was extremely quiet up until about my Senior year, where I realized it wasn't all that hard to seduce someone, and had sex with more girls than I (or they) would like to admit. Anyone that has read my previous posts may wonder why I bitch about being single so much if I could "easily" seduce a gal...well I'll put it like this. Let your dick fuck up a few of the best friendships you've ever had, and then we'll see how confident you are about taking a chance by flirting.
Anyways...I got my smokey smokes, and walked back home, and that's when the suicidal hate kicked in. I've always kinda been jealous of people that kill themselves, I've never understood it though. Despite the fact that I on a pretty regular basis hope I get creamed by a drunk driver, shot by some gang member, or stabbed by a girl's jealous boyfriend, I've never been able to do the deed myself. I think it has something to do with my annoying habit of not liking to be beat, especially by myself. Ending my life would essentially be telling myself "good job, you win." No one wants their enemy to win, and the main villain in my life, is me. So fuck what that guy wants. Then I looked up to the stars in a desperate attempt to escape the voices gathering in my head, and that's when I made the connection between stars and people.
Despite the fact that we generally think of stars as always being there, quite a few of them are already dead. We're just seeing pictures of how beautiful they were before they exploded. It's the same with how people are. You see them walking around with a smile on their faces, but more times than anyone would like to admit, they're already dead. Corpses stumbling through life with pictures of the past stapled to their faces. I don't know what I'm trying to get at with this, but I guess it's this. We all have a favorite star (mine is the middle one in Orion's belt) and it could be dead already, but I don't know if that's any more tragic than any of the millions in the night sky. Each one is beautiful beyond words, and the fact they could be gone already, today, or tomorrow makes them all the more perfect. You need to look at the people around you in the same way, they could be your best friend, an acquaintance, or a complete stranger. It doesn't matter though, we all have shit going on in our lives, some have a harder battle than others, but at the end of the day, my problems are the same many of you are feeling. Cherish every moment you have with them, because you never know when their mask will fall away, and you'll be at their funeral wishing you had spent more time with them, trying to figure out how you didn't realize they were so depressed. If you're put in that situation, whatever happens don't blame yourself. They were dead long before their heart stopped beating, their light just wasn't quite done burning yet. And if YOU are one of the people out there already dead on the inside?
Well..
You may think you're just another anonymous face among the billions of people on Earth, you may think that no one would care if you're gone, but trust me. To someone out there, you're Orion's middle star. Someone would miss you dearly if you weren't here tomorrow. And even in the miniscule chance that no one would miss you, the night sky that is humanity would be a little less bright because you weren't there to light it up. I know how hypocritical it is for someone that freely talks about how much he hates life, and how badly he just wants to end it all, to say something like that.
But I already found the fuel to keep me burning. I refuse to give in to those thoughts, period.
Find your fuel, and hold onto it until your body decays. Rest will come for us all.
The whole point of this little 3 A.M. trip was simply to get some cigarettes, and to let the chilly air clear my head. As I walked though...I realized that despite the fact that it's been two years since I've done this, and yet I was thinking virtually the same thoughts that I had the last time. My insecurities are the same, my pure, almost psychotic hatred of myself was there, my alienation from everyone around me? The same. I walked past an old friend's house, the only thing different was the fact that he didn't live there anymore. Walked past a few different houses of some girls I had fucked in the past...the only thing different about those ones, were the dicks that said girls were sucking. The streets are the same, the memories I've had on them, the same, and the drunk town people stumbling around...pretty much the same. Only instead of simply feeling slight amusement from watching them, I felt something else...Especially when they recognized me.
"Oh shit...are you Tyler?"
"..yeah"
"You went to MCHS?"
"yes..."
"Aren't you in the Marines?"
"I was"
The conversation continued for a bit, but my mind was elsewhere, these were people that graduated school the same time as me, but were still doing the exact same shit. That last part however stung.
The only thing I had ever wanted in life was to be a Marine, and I attained that goal, but then had it taken away from me, for reasons that..if you don't know, you don't really NEED to know. But what they say about "Once a Marine, always a Marine" is unfortunately true. I would give anything to have people not know what I did, every time they bring it up, it's salt upon the wound. I think that's why I've been drinking so much lately, because at the end of the bottle, there's blissful unconsciousness. In the past I could deal with all the shit my mind put me through, because I had something to look forward too. Now however....Now I don't have shit to hope for. So I'll spend my next paycheck on cancer sticks, and a shit ton of liquor, and my friends can take bets on which will kill me first.
Back to the main concept of this blog, which is how much nothing changes. It's kind of weird because 2 years ago the conversation would have went like this
"Aren't you Tyler?"
"Mhm"
"And you go to MCHS?"
"Mhm."
"Why don't you talk much?"
"Don't know"
Not much different at all really. In school I was extremely quiet up until about my Senior year, where I realized it wasn't all that hard to seduce someone, and had sex with more girls than I (or they) would like to admit. Anyone that has read my previous posts may wonder why I bitch about being single so much if I could "easily" seduce a gal...well I'll put it like this. Let your dick fuck up a few of the best friendships you've ever had, and then we'll see how confident you are about taking a chance by flirting.
Anyways...I got my smokey smokes, and walked back home, and that's when the suicidal hate kicked in. I've always kinda been jealous of people that kill themselves, I've never understood it though. Despite the fact that I on a pretty regular basis hope I get creamed by a drunk driver, shot by some gang member, or stabbed by a girl's jealous boyfriend, I've never been able to do the deed myself. I think it has something to do with my annoying habit of not liking to be beat, especially by myself. Ending my life would essentially be telling myself "good job, you win." No one wants their enemy to win, and the main villain in my life, is me. So fuck what that guy wants. Then I looked up to the stars in a desperate attempt to escape the voices gathering in my head, and that's when I made the connection between stars and people.
Despite the fact that we generally think of stars as always being there, quite a few of them are already dead. We're just seeing pictures of how beautiful they were before they exploded. It's the same with how people are. You see them walking around with a smile on their faces, but more times than anyone would like to admit, they're already dead. Corpses stumbling through life with pictures of the past stapled to their faces. I don't know what I'm trying to get at with this, but I guess it's this. We all have a favorite star (mine is the middle one in Orion's belt) and it could be dead already, but I don't know if that's any more tragic than any of the millions in the night sky. Each one is beautiful beyond words, and the fact they could be gone already, today, or tomorrow makes them all the more perfect. You need to look at the people around you in the same way, they could be your best friend, an acquaintance, or a complete stranger. It doesn't matter though, we all have shit going on in our lives, some have a harder battle than others, but at the end of the day, my problems are the same many of you are feeling. Cherish every moment you have with them, because you never know when their mask will fall away, and you'll be at their funeral wishing you had spent more time with them, trying to figure out how you didn't realize they were so depressed. If you're put in that situation, whatever happens don't blame yourself. They were dead long before their heart stopped beating, their light just wasn't quite done burning yet. And if YOU are one of the people out there already dead on the inside?
Well..
You may think you're just another anonymous face among the billions of people on Earth, you may think that no one would care if you're gone, but trust me. To someone out there, you're Orion's middle star. Someone would miss you dearly if you weren't here tomorrow. And even in the miniscule chance that no one would miss you, the night sky that is humanity would be a little less bright because you weren't there to light it up. I know how hypocritical it is for someone that freely talks about how much he hates life, and how badly he just wants to end it all, to say something like that.
But I already found the fuel to keep me burning. I refuse to give in to those thoughts, period.
Find your fuel, and hold onto it until your body decays. Rest will come for us all.
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